when pause meets play.

my story about soul mates.

There has been a lot of talk about soul mates and whether you believe in them or not, that's ok. Let me tell you what I believe a soul mate is. A soul mate is someone that makes you feel like you are "coming home"... it's kind of hard to explain but I will do my best.

When I met Dave it was as if I had already known him. As we talked it was like everything he said about himself I already knew. I guess the way he looked at me was familiar. The more I came to know him, the more I realized I have always known him. And now coming home isn't the same with out him there. Home is when he hugs me. Home is when he smiles and we laugh together. People can say what they want to try to discredit that some are meant to be together but I know that I was always supposed to be with Dave. And he tells me often how he was always supposed to be with me. The way our relationship flows together is as if it was always meant to be that way and we just had to put it on hold until we met. We didn't start our relationship when we met at that party, it was as if our relationship was put on pause and that party was simply the play button.

 I am not disregarding what people have posted about two good people growing together over a relationship and becoming soul mates. But just because something is true does not necessarily make another thing untrue. I am also not saying that it was with out mine and Dave's ability to choose that we came together. Choice had a lot to do with it. I firmly believe that he truly is my souls mate and that love that gives you butterflies is well with in reach.

A soul mate is someone who loves you when you feel crazy. A soul mate is someone who knows how you're feeling with a glance. Love can be fickle and confusing, trust me I am well aware of that. But to say that soul mates don't exist, as to imply that no one should be desperately and "butterflies in the stomach" in love, could be missing the spark that becomes a fire.  Because me and Dave are soul mates, and I have met couples that feel the same way we do.

I remember a story David told me that happened just a month before we met. He was on a cruise that his work paid for. He made lots of friends on the ship, one particular couple were his "hot tub buddies" as he said. He was talking about his life, and they were sharing stories of their 30 plus years of marriage together. The sweet lady said that she still feels the same way that she did the day they were married and they never left the so called 'honeymoon faze'. The man smiled and nodded in agreement as they laughed about their trials, struggles, and great times they have had throughout the years. David told me that he longed to have that same story. And he resolutely tells me, that he is so lucky to be living that story that he longed for.

Just like everything else in life, having a happy and love filled marriage takes work, compromise, and lots and lots and LOTS of communication. It makes my heart a little sad when I see people writing that they settled, or that they don't or never did feel that spark of excitement when the one they call husband or wife walks into the room. I'm not one to judge the way people share or express feeling. But I believe that love should be strong and well cultivated- like we would treat the most precious possession we own. It should make us want to get out of bed in the morning and be a better person each day. It should be the driving force of our lives, not a calculated compromise of statistics saying he or she has this attribute or doesn't have this one. I know that as we love, our capacity to love grows more. That's the kind of relationship I would be happy taking a whole life everyday working, compromising, loving and yes- communicating to achieve.


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© The Swenson Series
Maira Gall